Wednesday Weigh-in-week 3

Sorry this is getting posted Thur. instead of Wed., but I didn't stop moving from sun-up till way after sun down yesterday and finally sat down at about midnight to post, but totally fell asleep!

Last week(3/18)---------This week (3/25)
134.9---------------133.6

Yea! How odd since I only worked out once in the last week and the week before I did almost every day and gained weight! As good as this news is for me, this is going to be my last weigh-in for awhile. There are so many different reasons but it all boils down to the basic reason that I've bit off way more than I can chew right now. I have to thank you Michelle for kind of (in a very nice way :)) bringing it to my attention. It's like I already knew I was wearing myself way too thin, but in some sort of weird way I needed somebody's permission to stop. I needed somebody to tell me it was okay to not be perfect in every category of my life, even though I so badly wanted to be. But unfortunately something's gotta give and right now this is what it's going to have to be. I really believe that it's SO important that we as mothers have something that we do just for ourselves and we take time just for us, but not at the expense of our family and that has what it's turned into for me. How patient I am is based on what percentage of sleep I got the night before and my patience seems to go down about 20% per hour of sleep lost, so I'm normally functioning on about 80% and the past few weeks it's been down around 50 or 60 so needless to say I was blowing up about silly things at any given moment. And my family just doesn't deserve that. Also, I was so adamant about working out in the morning that I had Bobby up feeding Kylee in the mornings while I was gone no matter how little sleep he got (he's usually going to bed between 1-2 because of homework and then up at 6:30 to go to school) and most days he was late to class because it takes her SO long to finish a bottle. But I didn't really care because I was doing something I wanted (and needed) to do.

Michelle's comment on my "I hate" post was the first little wake up call I needed but the answer to my prayer came Tues. morning as I was getting ready to go visiting teaching. I asked Heavenly Father to please help me to be able to do it all. To have the energy to keep going and accomplish my goals and that Kylee would get better so that I could go back to working out as usual. As I was flipping through the ensign to find the VT message I saw an article called To Perfection by Amanda Dierenfeldt. The title immideately caught my attention because perfection is something that I am always trying to obtain in every aspect of my life (something I'm trying to work on not doing) and it was only a page long so I decided to read it. The girl was explaining to a friend how frustrated she was that she hadn't accomplished different goals in her life and she felt so left behind by her friends that had completed them, and her friend said, "Why do you have to finish the race of life in a set time? Why not just run the race?"

So my friends, I will not give up on this goal and I will continue to work out but it will be when I can and not at the expense of my family. I think it's important to set goals and accomplish them, so I hope you don't think I'm giving up on this because I don't think I can do it. I know I can do it, but for right now I just need to "run the race" and not put a time limit on it because it's just adding way too much stress to my life right now. I once heard a speaker say to a group of women, "As women you can have it all! Just not right now. You can be a mother and a wife and a businesswomen and a church leader and whatever else you want to be, but pace yourself. Do things when you can, and then you can have it all."

And one more tidbit I loved from the article,"I don’t always need to sprint. Occasionally, it will be all I can do to simply face the finish line. Doing our best to move forward—no matter what speed “our best” is—is OK. Our efforts can be made perfect because the Lord’s grace is sufficient for us all."

So thank you for all your support in this, it will keep me going and one day I will have it all and I will finish the race, but for right now I'm just going to run.