Over the past few months I've had several people ask me, "Don't you get so bored staying home with a baby?! You always say you're busy, but really, what do you do all day, watch Oprah and change diapers? How hard can that be?!" Although I do get my fair share of Oprah and more than my fair share of dirty diapers, there is much more to being a stay-at-home mom than one might think. Allow me to share with you how my day went yesterday.
7:15 Tyler wakes up
7:16 Bobby brings him into bed with us
7:16:30 Tyler is rubbing his hand across my face and babbling something that sounds like babababamamamananababamamadada
7:17 Tyler pulls on my lips and starts patting my mouth until I open it and bite his finger (gently), it makes him stop
7:17:15 Tyler is picking my nose
7:17:30 I get sick of his finger in my nose and roll over onto my side so he can't touch my face. I hope this will make him turn to his father so I can go back to sleep for just 1 more minute
7:18 Tyler climbs over me,is breathing in my face and picking at my eyelashes, which at this point, is more annoying than cute
7:19 I start to give up on the hope that Tyler is going to fall back to sleep with me and start to actually wake up
7:20 I open my eyes to see two blue eyes staring right into mine. This makes me laugh and Tyler is THRILLED that I am awake and starts smiling too. I decide he is just too cute to be grumpy at him for waking me up earlier than I wanted him to-last nights' game of scrabble with Bobby went a little longer than planned because we had to keep playing 'till he beat me. (Never happened:) )
7:21 I get out of bed and make Tyler breakfast
7:30 Tyler finishes his bottle, I change his diaper, put him in his high-chair and open a jar of baby food to feed him- Banana Pear Orange Grape medley (really Bobby? When you saw that sitting there on the Target shelf with all the other jars of food you thought, hmmm...that one sounds the best!?)
7:31 Tyler sticks his whole hand in the jar, when I look away for one second to pick up the spoon he just threw onto the floor, and I look up just in time to see a glass jar whirring past my head-missing me by centimeters-and landing smack in the middle of the tile floor shattering into pieces. Well, at least he doesn't have to eat the fruit medley and I don't have to feel bad about throwing it away.
7:32 Tyler is screaming because the shattering glass scared him, while I sweep up the mess.
7:40 I decide breakfast is a little overrated and opt to skip out on the baby food this morning. I take him out of his chair and my nose is immediately offended with an incredible odor coming from his back end area.
7:41 Change Tyler's diaper...again
8:00 I pull the sugar cookie dough I made last night out of the fridge and get ready to bake 4 dozen cookies for tonight's Christmas Enrichment activity at the church.
8:05 I begin to roll the dough out on the counter and it is sooooo sticky that I end up with dough stuck to everything but the counter. I get a little frustrated and add more flour to the counter to see if that helps. No such luck.
8:10 I get a little more frustrated because I have never made cookies from scratch (yea, I know...what?!) and have no idea what I'm doing, but I scrape everything I can manage to scrape off everything I can and start over. I put 1/2 a cup of flour on the counter, add some cookie dough, and start to roll. Nothing!
8:13 I am so mad! Wouldn't it have been easier just to buy the stupid cookies. And if not, couldn't I have used my own recipe that called for normal cookie things like sugar and vanilla rather than sour cream, nutmeg and 6 eggs (4 yolks and 2 whole eggs). "No, everyone is using the same recipe to bake all the cookies and the dough MUST be refrigerated overnight." UGGG!
8:15 Tyler is crying for me, pulling my pants as he climbs up my leg which makes me even more frustrated.
8:16 I carry him back into the living room, using my forearms, (for the 2nd time) to play with his toys, trying not to track dough all across the kitchen-with no success-and decide to start over with the cookies again.
8:20 I pour 1 cup of flour onto the counter, hardly any dough, and start to roll. Still not working!! Tyler crawls back into the kitchen, crying, and starts to pull down my pants. I slump down onto the kitchen floor and start to cry too. This sucks! I hold Tyler and we cry together. We are quite the sight now that we are both covered in dough and tears.
8:25 Amanda decides to wake up. Comes over and gets Tyler from me. She has beautiful timing.
8:26 Bobby comes out of the bedroom to leave for work, takes one look at me and...laughs! What?! He tells me I'm not using enough flour and proceeds to show me how to do it, managing to do it perfectly while getting NO dough anywhere on him. Hmmph! I want to be grumpy at him for laughing when I am obviously NOT a happy camper, but he got my dough to roll, so I give in and laugh too.
8:30 Bobby leaves for work and I give him a big hug and whisper, "please don't leave me" in his ear. He smiles and walks out the door.
8:32 I manage to roll the dough and cut out enough gingerbread men and stars for a dozen cookies and put them in the oven.
8:42 The cookies are done. They look disgusting and taste even worse.
9:30 I put the second dozen cookies in the oven (I have to wait about an hour between each dozen I cook so that the oven has time to cool down so that the cookies don't burn on the outside and stay gooey on the inside)
*So, doing the math, if I have to wait an hour between batches and I have 4 to make, I'm not done baking till approx. 12:00. I HATE baking!
9:45 My mom calls and we chat (okay, I vent), and she reassures me everything's going to be okay. I feel a little better and take a breath for the first time since 7:15 this morning
9:30-12:00 I alternate between rolling dough, cutting out cookies, baking them, cooling them, bagging them, and taking care of Tyler. He gets two more diaper changes, throws 3 tantrums, takes 1 short nap, and makes me laugh too many times to count. I decide I love this little boy to death and he's worth every amount of trouble he makes! This earns him hundreds of kisses! (which he does NOT love :) )
12:00 Tyler eats lunch and manages to keep more food in his mouth than his hair, which for us, means lunch was successful!
12:30 I get him dressed
12:40 I start loading up my car with everything I need to take to the church in 3 hours and 20 min.
1:00 I wrap the present we are bringing to Bobby's Christmas work party tonight. Yes, that's ALSO tonight!!!
1:15 I throw in a load of laundry
1:30 I clean up the HUGE mess in the kitchen, do all the dishes, pick up the living room, the bedrooms and the bathrooms.
2:30 I get in the shower. Yea, finally I get to get ready for the day!
2:45 I blow dry my hair
2:50 I know Tyler will be ready for his nap soon, so to calm him down I sit down with him and we watch Baby Einstein (this always puts him to sleep)
3:00 Tyler falls asleep in my arms. I remember how much I LOVE being a mom and give him lots of kisses because he can't push my face away.
3:05 I lay him down in his crib
3:06 I switch the, now lightly damp, clothes from the washer to the dryer and am dissapointed with myself for forgetting to do this as soon as the washer was done over an hour ago.
3:10 I finish getting ready and reward myself with a pat on the back for timing Tyler's nap perfectly with this part of my day.
3:55 I wake Tyler up from his nap so we can go to the church to help set up for tonight.
3:56 He's not very happy about being woken up, but cooperates with me while I put his shoes on, do his hair and pack up his diaper bag.
4:02 We're out the door
4:05 I pick up a girl on the committee that I told I would pick up on my way to the church, who mentions that I am 10 min. late (oh well she can just deal with it! I wanted to say, "if you had kids you'd understand", but thought that might be a bit harsh so just smiled and apologized)
4:10 We arrive at the church (yes, I'm aware I'm late!)
4:15 We begin setting up and Tyler cries the whole time because he wants to be held. Which frustrates me more than usual because he's not usually like that.
4:45 I frustratedly call Bobby and ask if he could possibly leave work 15 min. early and come pick up Tyler because I am being no help because I only have 1 hand to work with! He laughs and says he'll be right there. (It's a good thing I have a husband that can laugh when things go wrong because it totally makes me chill out!)
5:05 Bobby is not here yet.
5:07 Bobby is still not here.
5:10 Bobby is STILL not here. Doesn't he understand that if I ask him to do something, it should be done immedeatly?!?! I mean do I, or do I not, wear the pants in this family?! :)
5:23 Bobby shows up and apologizes for getting tied up at the office and not being able to leave when he said could. Now I laugh because NOW Tyler's being perfect and we're almost done setting up, but he takes him home anyway and I am grateful none-the-less.
5:35 We're done at the church so I leave to go home too.
5:45 I get ready for Bobby's work party.
6:10 We leave for the party. Tyler looks super cute! (sorry no pictures, we were in a hurry-or couldn't you tell from my day!)
6:25 We arrive and sit at a table with Bobby's best friend from home (isn't that cute that they work together?!) and his wife who is my really good friend.
6:40 My ex arrives with his pregnant wife who despises me (Yes my long time ex-boyfriend works with my husband...weird I know and extra weird long story, but such is my life, one big, long, weird story!!!)
6:41 They sit across the table from us because those are the seats that happen to be available...awkward!!!
6:45 We start eating. The food is not so great, which makes me very unhappy because I have not eaten anything today!!!
6:50 Tyler falls down and smacks his head on the wood chair. He screams the loudest I've ever heard him and everyone in the room turns and stares. Yes, I am a perfect mother.
6:51 The large red lump on the side of his head is now turning purple.
6:53 Tyler stops crying but people are still staring. Really, do the stares help people?! I don't need your, "Oh poor baby" looks directed towards my child. I am perfectly capable of handling this situation...obviously!:)
7:30 We do the gift exchange. We receive a little chicken in a santa suit that dances to We Wish you a Merry Christmas. Tyler loves it and it entertains him for the rest of the night.
8:00 We leave to go home
8:15 I drop off Bobby and Tyler
8:20 I arrive back at the church to help clean up after Enrichment is over (I felt bad about missing the whole thing), but it's totally worth it because my friends Jaime and Maranda are still there and I really need to talk to some friends!!! They reassure me that my cookies don't taste like playdough. They're lying, but I don't care, at least they're nice enough to lie! We gab for 40 min. and I do not help clean up. I am no help to the enrichment committee, who I'm sure are cursing my name under their breath because they are doing all the work while I talk. I would be mad too. But after the day I had, I just really needed some good girl gab!
9:00 My friends leave (after helping me pack my car-thank you!) and I help put away about 2 loads worth of stuff. I'll probably be released on Sun.
9:20 I leave to go home
9:25 I get home to find that Tyler has been fed, bathed and put to sleep, the house is still clean, and Bobby is doing homework.
9:30 I get ready for bed because I'm exhausted!
9:55 I go into Tyler's bedroom to give him a kiss goodnight and am once again reminded how lucky I am to be his mother. I am so in love with him!
10:00 Bobby and I talk for about an hour and a half till we fall asleep.
12:00 I am in la-la land dreaming about how much I love my job and am so thankful for everything I have in my life.
Just an average day on the job.
