Finally!
Well this isn't going to be the post that I was planning on making, but I need to start posting or else I'm going to forget all the other things that have been happening on a day-to-day basis in our lives. I've been wanting to take the time to write Kylee's birth story, but haven't had the time it would take to write about everything I want to, so I've been putting off blogging until I felt like I had the time-probably not going to happen any time soon. So, I'll try to start posting more regularly again and just do short, quick ones (which I'm sure are more appreciated by yall as the readers!) to keep everyone updated, as well as have something written down for our family to remember what's going on during this time.
I really thought that I was going to be a great "picture taking" mom, but that is so not the case. I've probably taken a total of 20 pictures in the last 3 weeks versus the over 200 pictures I took of Tyler in his first 3 weeks. I promise I love her just as much, I just hardly ever remember to grab the camera and take pictures. I wouldn't even remember my own name most days, but luckily I have Tyler to remind me what it is. (For some odd reason he's taken to calling us Bobby and Angela instead of mom and dad. He thinks he is so funny-but that's a whole 'nother post.)
Life is getting easier, but I still feel so far disconnected from myself it's ridiculous. (And why isn't this baby weight flying off like it did last time?! I swear I'm not doing anything different-I'm even eating better AND more active than I was after Tyler, ugh!) I'm less patient with Tyler than I should be, I treat him like he's older than he is because I have a "real" baby now, and compared to Tyler, I feel like Kylee gets hardly any bonding time with me because I feel guilty for snuggling her when Tyler's awake because I feel like he needs me more. I shouldn't even get started on the guilt part though because I could go on and on.( Does that ever go away?!) I've learned that I can do LOTS of things one-handed: cook dinner, eat dinner, force feed Tyler dinner, do my hair/make-up, use the computer, read to Tyler, do dishes, fold laundry, make the bed, etc. Which brings me to my next issue-Kylee is so high maintenance! If she's awake, she has to be held. She normally will only fall asleep if she's in someones arms, and every once in awhile the swing. This is unbelievably frustrating for me because Tyler was completely the opposite; he wanted to fall asleep on his own (since the time he was her age), was more comfortable laying by himself than being held, and NEVER fussed. If she's awake, and not being held, 90% of the time she is crying. Sometimes I let her just lay there and cry, but sometimes-especially in a house as small as ours where you just cannot escape the noise-it starts to make my head hurt and I feel myself going crazy so I pick her up. She's not colicky or anything just a little miss priss! Hmmm...wonder where she got that.
Tyler is doing a lot better with her. When we first came home from the hospital he was completely indifferent to her. He's never been mean or angry towards her, just ignores her as if she doesn't exist. This past week he's really started to warm up to her, and even though he still doesn't ever ask to hold her, or try to play with her, or talk about/to her, if we ask him if he wants to hold her he will say yes instead of no (which is what he would always say), he will give her kisses during the day if I ask him if he wants to (and voluntarily at night before bed), and just today he sat down and "read" her a book because I asked him too. If her pacifier is anywhere in sight, he always tries to put it in her mouth whether she's sleeping, awake or crying. Oh well, at least he doesn't put it in his own mouth! I've also noticed this week that if Tyler doesn't think I'm watching he'll just walk up next to her and watch her, but as soon as he sees me looking he'll walk away like he doesn't care about her. Silly boy.
Well, I guess this was my idea of a "short" post, but yall know me and know that I can't ever really write anything short because I'm just too wordy, but whatever at least I'm posting! ha ha! Here are a few pictures from the past couple weeks. I know there's not a lot, but this is everything I've taken-I wasn't kidding about not being a good picture mom!
Reading to Tyler (neither one of us had any idea Bobby was taking this cause I wouldn't have let him. trust me I was pretty out of it!)
Here's the proof (that I was out-of-it...ahhh, look how tired I look. Now yall can feel bad for me :))
Tyler was eating his "after nap snack" and Bobby laid Kylee on Tyler's lap to see what he would do. He was watching Max and Ruby and just glanced down at her for a second and went right back to watching his show like it was the most normal thing for her to be there.
I left to put the camera down and walked back over to the couch and he had placed his hand on her arm and was patting it. It was so sweet I had to run back and get the camera!
I just think it's so funny that he wants us to think he couldn't care less about her!
So when I asked Tyler to read to her so I could wash the dishes he said, "okay mom, sure." Sat down, and plopped the book right on top of her.
I said, "Oh Tyler, don't put it on her, you have to sit next to her and show her the pictures." He rolled his eyes (really he does this) and said-very forlornly-, "O-tay". (doesn't he just look thrilled!)
This was one of those times he was watching her and didn't know I was looking.
I had been smothering him with kisses and here he was saying, "mom stop!"
I just love him! (and his doggone eyelashes that curl all the way up to his eyebrows-makes me sick!)
Well that's all for now, Tyler is awake from his nap calling me to come get him. And yes, he is saying, "Angela!" with differing degrees of volume, over and over. Thanks SO much to all of you that have voted for Tyler's picture on Heather's blog, yall are awesome!
